Sunday, March 25, 2012

never could have guessed...

... how stealthy spit up can be. No warning, no noise whatsoever, all of a sudden I'll hear a splat, look down, and there's a white puddle on the floor. And on that note...

... how many clothes/bibs/burp rags/blankets one tiny person can dirty in a day! Seriously! I could probably do a load of laundry every other day. I had no idea.

... how a 60-second snuggle in the glider, with a baby heavy and content against my shoulder, could recharge me for an entire day.
I have a very active child so this does not happen very often. :)

... how terribly difficult it is to cut a baby's nails! Getting him to hold still, then quickly trying to focus on those tiny nail beds, and attempting to cut enough nail to get it short but not too much that he'll bleed - it's quite a job!
Again, I have a very active child - stillness RARELY happens.

... how six straight hours of sleep would become a true luxury. While Boone goes down around 8 and stays in bed until about 7 the next morning, he usually wakes at least once a night crying for his pacifier or asking to be re-situated. He has allowed us a 6-hour slumber stretch a handful of times, and it is indescribably wonderful. I will never, ever, ever take sleep for granted again. Ever.

... the emotion that accompanies packing away out-grown clothes! I have quickly come to dread this chore. Ask me to do anything that reminds me he is growing up and the tears will start to well. (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE watching him change and grow - the letting go of precious baby days is just rough!)

... the instant kinship I would feel with other moms. Doesn't matter where I am - grocery store, out for a walk, watching one in a movie - rather than a stranger, I see a friend. Someone I can now relate to on so many new levels. Furthermore, every baby, every child I see is someone's Boone. And because of that, I love them all. :)

... how easily tears come. When I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm tired, really doesn't matter, just feels like I am always on the verge of crying about something! Maybe that's because after the last year I realize how fleeting life is, I don't know, I just feel things so deeply right now.

... how an undisturbed nap is now one of the greatest gifts someone could give me. Most days, I'd pay money to lay in a quiet, dark room for an hour.

... what Scripture means by "unconditional love." After years of walking with Him, I now view the Father's love for me in an entirely new context. Even after the fussiest, most taxing day with Boone, I'd take a bullet for him without thinking twice. He has nothing positive to offer me (except a smile and that adorable giggle) - essentially he takes and takes and takes and I give and give and give. Yet I don't love him because of what he can do for me. I don't love him because he loves me. I love him because he is my son. And no circumstance can take that away. I will love him forever, no matter what. Period. And this is the sort of incredible love that Scripture tells us that God has for His people, those He has adopted and names His children. That blows me away.

1 comment:

Amber said...

Emily you do such a wonderful job of putting into words what the rest of us are feeling. It's hard to explain what makes motherhood so wonderful. And like you many times I am reminded how deeply God loves us. Something I related to completely differently after having a child of my own. Blessed beyond measure :) Thanks for sharing all of your stories!